I find myself attracted time and time again to people with charisma. Usually they don't know I exist. So I'm spending my emotional energy on people that don't know me from Adam. In fact, one of them was named Adam. He was a juggler that did the Ren. faire circuit when I did it. Only he was good enough to make a living doing stage shows and I wasn't. Like many of the jugglers I knew, when he wasn't juggling he was getting high, so it's not like we ever would have worked together anyway.
Now there's a guy named Robert. Same deal. He's a performer. I bump into him all the time at events. But he's got groupies and he's not interested in me so I wish I could stop thinking about him. Energy wasted.
My sister is the same way only for her it's musicians. And that never seems to end well for her.