People With Charisma

I find myself attracted time and time again to people with charisma. Usually they don't know I exist. So I'm spending my emotional energy on people that don't know me from Adam. In fact, one of them was named Adam. He was a juggler that did the Ren. faire circuit when I did it. Only he was good enough to make a living doing stage shows and I wasn't. Like many of the jugglers I knew, when he wasn't juggling he was getting high, so it's not like we ever would have worked together anyway.

Now there's a guy named Robert. Same deal. He's a performer.  I bump into him all the time at events. But he's got groupies and he's not interested in me so I wish I could stop thinking about him. Energy wasted.

My sister is the same way only for her it's musicians.  And that never seems to end well for her.

Miss you mom

Today, which is Valentine's Day, I've been thinking of my mother and missing her a lot. She seemed so lost in life. She had no ambitions, few friends, and no social life. So to her, her five kids were everything. She didn't drive, so once we got old enough to take her places, she had more freedom.  But she liked doing simple things the best like going for ice cream cones at Thrifty's, visiting thrift stores, browsing through garage sales, and going out to the Desert Nursery in Sunnymead, which no longer exists. You'd think I'd be thinking of my boyfriend on Valentine's Day but I guess it's a lost cause there because he's not really into holidays and traditional ways of celebrating. Rather than investing my emotions in it, I'd rather just do something for his mother today.  There is a disconnect going on there somewhere, as there is in much of my life.

Richard Simmons

Mostly I've been thinking of Richard Simmons. I've always wanted to be an inspirational speaker but I'm just not a bubbly person. He is such a great motivator.  Who else can get a room of total strangers to hop up and work out with him? I can't even get my boyfriend to toss around a flying disk with me. There is a gift to inspiring people.

I wish I was that outgoing. He is not afraid to say or do anything to get a laugh or make a point. He is always the center of attention in any crowd he is in. I think it would be wild to see him and Jim Carey in the same room, just to see who would pull focus.

Friends From High School

Here is a list of the people from the past that I think about a lot and have no idea what became of them:

1. Cindy Schilling, Moreno Valley High School, graduated about 1976
2. Barbara Crawford Moreno Valley High School, graduated about 1976
I knew she got married and I read in the paper she lost her 2 kids in a home fire.  But I tried to reach her and never did. She lived up the street from me in Sunnymead CA (which is now Moreno Valley).
 She has a sister named Robin, mother Nancy, father Paul.
3. Steve Webber  He didn't go to the same high school as me. He lived in Chino, CA and Azusa and worked for the carnival. I believe his sister was raising him but I don't remember her name. He was in the Order of Demolay. He joined the service and I lost touch with him.

First Post

How many people feel lonely? How many people feel like no one ever thinks of them? Sometimes I think of people from my past, before the Internet. I have no idea where they went to or what became of them.  And of course I think of people I've met since the Internet took off. Every day I think of friends and family, old and new but they don't know it.

So I thought, "Why not start a blog and mention the people I'm thinking of, and if possible put a link to their sites if I know of them."